I need an assistant to find an Airbnb for me. It drives me insane, looking at all the possibilities in, say, Austin, ranging from adorable tiny houses to alleged “ranches” on the edge of . . . somewhere. What does “cozy” mean? What does it mean when they tell you there’s a bathtub? Does that mean no shower? Why does Airbnb require that they have “one towel per guest”? One towel per guest per stay, or every day? When someone comments that a host was “very attentive,” does that mean “they were breathing down our necks”? When it says, “Close to downtown nightlife,” is that a warning that IT’S SO FRIGGING LOUD YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SLEEP?