Before I go, I have something to say

Category: Things My Assistant Can Do

Another Thing My Assistant Can Do

Like all good assistants, mine should have a candy dish. It should be filled to nearly overflowing with all the candies I crave now and then, and especially now. Things like circus peanuts. No matter how small the bag, there are always too many circus…

Another Thing My Assistant Can Do

Ever since I started writing poetry seriously, I’ve wished for an app that does a very specific thing: show me how many of which words I’ve used. Words are important to poems — I mean, come on — and any poet worth her salt wants…

Another Thing My Assistant Can Do

I need an assistant to find an Airbnb for me. It drives me insane, looking at all the possibilities in, say, Austin, ranging from adorable tiny houses to alleged “ranches” on the edge of . . . somewhere. What does “cozy” mean? What does it…

Things my Assistant Can Do

How many times a day do I think of things my assistant could do, if I had an assistant to do them? Many. Countless. Or no, they could be counted, but I would need an assistant to do so. Just lately, I’ve been wishing I…